all over the place

I started this blog back in 2023 (see my first blog post hehe), but I didn’t continue with it because I didn’t know or couldn’t figure out the vision for it. Should I write about music, film, psychology, neuroscience, mental health, health, traveling, fashion, photography, etc., etc., insert more interests and hobbies… What should I focus on? What is this blog about? What is this blog for?

Funnily enough, trying to define the purpose for this blog was the launchpad of my self-exploration journey, prompting me to think about my self-identity and my "life purpose" ...

Two years later, after experiencing a series of challenges/a bit of life, and taking classes at “real-world” university, I realized that maybe defining myself or what I should focus on shouldn’t be about one thing because for the longest time, I've tried to do one thing. To be so good at that one thing, so much so that I become defined as that one thing.

So naturally, as someone in her 20s (shoutout to all the 20s somethings reading this, you’re doing your best!), fresh out of college, with no one telling her what to do for the first time in her life, the discomforting questions of “who am I," "what should I be," or "what should I DO?" constantly lingered on in my brain.

I tried all sorts of things, defining myself as one thing, from aspiring medical student, to aspiring psychologist, to not aspiring for a "career" but a lover of life, to writer (when I am really just a yapper), proud listener and concert goer of alt music, amateur photographer, traveler, mac and cheese recipe perfector, haha… you name it...

But recently, after countless epiphanies, tears, rereads of Sylvia Plath’s fig tree analogy, and “rotting” in bed later, I thought, hey, maybe I don’t have to be one thing. Maybe it doesn't even matter anyway. One morning, I wrote in my journal, “[I am] so messy, dramatic, restless, and I don’t have it all together. I am all over the place. Why is that a bad thing?”

But it isn’t!

And wait, what about that blog I started two years ago?

Which brings us to now, two years after I wrote my first blog post. For this blog, I plan to write about my hobbies (music, travel, baking, photography, art, science, and other things), or interests or musings about life. This is a celebration of the multidimensionality of being human, of being a generalist, of being a “jack of all trades, master of none."

There is consolation in accepting that I can be and do just about everything. That I can just be all over the place. With no focus in mind, definitions, title, or certainties. Just embracing everything that I am and everything that makes me whole. I exist, and I have many interests and enjoy doing many things. I also enjoy sharing what I learn with people like you, reading this right now.

If some of this resonates with you, who’ve always had trouble defining themselves or focusing on one thing because there's so much to do out there and so much you can be (and are constantly overwhelmed by that), hello! This is a safe space!

In a way, this blog is an extension of my journey in this “little” life of exploration and adventure. But that’s too much to think about right now. For now, you know I'll be all over the place seeing, trying, reflecting, being.